


When You Close Your Eyes

by angelskuuipo



Category: Original Work
Genre: Early Work, Experimental Style, GFY, I'm rather proud of this piece, Other, POV First Person, The protagonist is in a pissy mood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-11
Updated: 2014-06-11
Packaged: 2018-02-04 07:16:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1770346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelskuuipo/pseuds/angelskuuipo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Who are you thinking about when you close your eyes?</p>
            </blockquote>





	When You Close Your Eyes

**Author's Note:**

> This is an experiment for me. I don’t generally write in the 1st Person, but I wanted to keep the gender of the POV ambiguous, so… It’s also not my usual fare, at least, I don’t think it is. This is also unbetaed. I just needed to get it out of my head.
> 
> Originally posted 4-30-07.
> 
>  
> 
> AN 6-11-14: After rereading this, I find myself oddly proud of it. Even after 10 years of writing I still surprise myself when I actually _like_ something I've written.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I close my eyes as his lips wrap around my nipple. God, his tongue is amazing. No, don’t stop. “Who are you thinking about when you close your eyes?”

What? You want to talk? “Wh-what? What are you talking about?”

He braces himself above me and looks at me with hooded eyes. “Did I stutter? Who are you thinking about when you close your eyes? When we’re making love, when I’m fucking you, when my cock is buried so deep inside you that you can feel me in your throat. Who. Are. You. Thinking. About?”

What. The. Fuck? “I don’t know! I don’t know that I think about anyone. I just feel.”

“…”

He’s just staring at me and I’m starting to feel a little freaked. I’m in a rather vulnerable position at the moment.

“What?!” So I get a little testy when I’m being interrogated. Sue me.

“I saw you with Him on the dance floor. I saw the way he touched you, the way he smiled at you, the way he kissed you. Do you wish it was him instead of me?” Unfuckingbelievable. I push him off me and tug my shirt back on. I’m very much not in the mood anymore.

“I do not want to have this conversation with you.” I cannot stress that enough.

“Too bad. We’re having it.”

Bastard. “He’s my best friend! I don’t generally think about him that way.” At least, not every day. Not anymore.

He folds his arms and narrows his eyes. Ooh, I’m intimidated. Not. “So whom do you generally think about?”

“Jesus, you’re like a dog with a bone.”

“Why won’t you answer me?”

Because you won’t like it. “Because my thoughts are my own! It’s none of your business who I may or may not be thinking about while we’re having sex. You’re the one I’m with.” But not for much longer if you keep this up. _He_ is off limits. I thought you understood that.

“But am I the one you really want to be with?”

Ohhh, you do not want to go there. “You think I let just anyone fuck me? You think I’m that much of a slut?”

“I didn’t say that.”

Not in so many words, but I’m pretty good at reading between the lines. “You’re sure as hell implying it. You really want to know? Fine. Yeah, I’ve thought about him while you were inside me. I’ve thought about Brad Pitt, too. Does that mean I’m gonna go find him and let him have a go? I don’t think so. And what about you? Huh? You gonna stand there and tell me you’ve never thought of someone else while we were together?”

“…”

Fucking self-conscious hypocrite. It’s all fine and dandy for you to picture someone else, but not me? Bullshit. “That’s what I thought. So I danced with my best friend, so he smiled at me, so he kissed me. Big fucking deal. He loves me and I love him. But whatever chance he and I had to be something more was over long before I ever met you. Do I wonder what it would be like? Hell yes, but that doesn’t mean I’m looking to do anything about it. Fantasizing is part of a healthy sexual appetite. I should not have to explain that to you of all people. I think I want you to leave now. Suddenly, I’m not feeling very sociable.”

“Don’t be that way.” He tries to pull me to him, but I pull away. There’s no way you’re getting anywhere near me again tonight, buddy.

“Excuse me, don’t be what way? Hurt? Angry? A little bitchy? Sorry, dear, but I’ve got a headache. I don’t think I feelin’ quite up to spreading my legs for you tonight. Go home. When you think you can handle a little mental competition, give me a call. Until then, good night.” I open my door and almost get hit in the face by Him. This could be fun.

“Am I interrupting?”

Heheh. Master of understatement, He is. He already knows I’m pissed as hell. “Not at all, he was just leaving.”

“Don’t do this.” Don’t do what, asshole? Invite my best friend in after I’ve kicked your sorry ass to the curb?

I point my finger at him. “You. Do not have a say in what I do or do not do. I think I asked you to leave.” I tug Him into my apartment. “You, get your ass in here.” I close the door in my now-ex’s face. Hmm, not likely to forget that scowl anytime soon.

He’s looking at me with an innocent expression. He really shouldn’t do that. It doesn’t look right on him, seeing as he left innocence behind a long time ago. “Trouble in paradise?”

Bitch. “What are you doing here at…1:30 in the morning?”

“Can’t a guy drop in on his best friend?”

I just look at him until he sighs dramatically and spreads his hands. “I had a feeling you needed me.”

I can accept that. We always know when one of us needs the other. It’s hella freaky, but then, so are we.

“Do you ever wonder why we never tried being a couple?” I ask him.

Heheh. He so wasn’t expecting _that_ question.

“Yeah, I do,” He replies.

He does? “You do?”

“Frequently. Especially when I see you with The Asshole of the Week, like the one who just left. I don’t know how you manage to find these bastards. Didn’t I teach you better than that?”

Well, knock me over with a feather.

“What did you two fight about?”

“You.” Honesty has never been a problem between us, except for the little matter of me still being in love with him. Bastard, he looks pleased.

“Really?”

“Yeah, he couldn’t handle the thought of me thinking about you while he was fucking me.” Now he’s looking smug. “Of course he also wasn’t too thrilled with me thinking about Brad Pitt either.” Oh look, the smugness is gone. “I think he has self-esteem issues and I’m not getting paid to be his therapist.”

“My, we are feeling a little bitchy tonight, aren’t we?”

“He decided to start this fucking conversation in the middle of sex! I’m pissed off and I’m horny, so yes, I am feeling a little bitchy.”

Ow! A doorknob to the back hurts. That’s better. He’s got me up against the door, arms on either side of me. His body heat is intense, making me feel all warm and tingly. He’s done this to me before, gotten me all worked up and then left me hanging. I’m not in the mood tonight. I’m wound up enough, thank you very much. I have an appointment with a dildo as soon as I can get him to leave. I go to push him away, but he grabs my hands and holds them over my head with one of his. I open my mouth to speak, but he lays a finger over my lips. I have never seen his eyes look so serious before.

“I can help you with that,” he purrs.

“Do not fuck with me. Not tonight,” I murmur behind his finger.

He dips his head and places a light kiss to my neck. Oh Jesus, please don’t do this to me. Not unless you mean it.

“But I want to,” he whispers into my ear then goes back to tracing patterns on my skin with his tongue.

Wha? “You want to what?”

“Fuck you.”

Oh Lord. “That isn’t funny.”

“I’m not joking.”

He pulls away from my neck and looks me in the eyes. He looks dead serious.

“Why now?” I have to ask, have to know.

“Why not now?”

“Don’t play with me, damn it! Not about this.”

He closes his eyes briefly and leans his forehead against mine. My arms are starting to go numb from being over my head for so long, and I pull lightly. He lets me go then wraps his arms tightly around me. I hold him just as hard.

With a sigh, he says, “I’m tired watching you get hurt time after time. I’m tired of looking for The One in a bunch of strangers when I know damn well that it’s you. It’s always been you. I just valued your friendship too much to fuck it up with sex. If you let me, I can rock your world and I’m pretty sure you can rock mine. I love you.”

Whip me, beat me, take away my charge card. This can’t be happening. Dreams like this don’t come true in real life. Shit like this only happens in the movies and romance novels.

“Aren’t you going to say anything?” he asks. Sounds kinda nervous actually. I guess I have been quiet for a while.

I put my hands on his shoulders and push him back a little then look him squarely in the eye. “This isn’t a joke?” He rolls his eyes and I shake him a little. “I’m serious! If you’re playing me right now, you will break me, and I don’t think I could handle that. I have put up with a lot of shit from you over the years, but I won’t let you play with my heart. Not again.” Oohh, shit, didn’t mean to bring _that_ up.

He flinches, but nods. “I’m not playing. Tonight, when we were dancing, it all finally fell into place. The right time, the right circumstances. I saw the way He looked while he was watching us and realized that I didn’t want to share you anymore. You’re mine and it was time that I told you and hoped to God you felt the same.”

“I have loved you since about a week after we met. Even when you broke my heart, I never stopped loving you. That’s why I’m so damn scared to take what you’re offering now. You have the power to hurt me like no one else.”

“You think you don’t have the same power over me?”

Oh my.

“Let’s go to bed.”

He laughs and I can’t blame him. He says, “What, just like that?”

“To _sleep_ ,” I say. “It’s entirely too late, or early, to continue this conversation. Let’s just…sleep on it, and we’ll talk more in the morning.” He looks at me for a moment then nods.

As I lead him into the bedroom, he says, “So if we do this, will you have a problem if I think about Brad Pitt while we’re having sex?”

All I can do is laugh.

I think we’re about to rock some worlds.

I can’t wait.

-30-  



End file.
